Part 1..... chapter 7

Local "rumour" has it, that the people who had the Cricketers were sooo in the shit that they have now flown the nest and left the pub standing still and up for grabs. I've spoken to one of the possible contenders, and he's changed his mind about buying. I don't know who the other one is and he ain't been around for a while, another "rumour" has it.... I love the word "rumour". If you were to split in into two words, it's "rum" and "our". It kinda makes it sound like "rumhour" but spelt without the "h", and when people are in the "rum-our" getting pissed that's when the "rumour" starts.... Quite apt really when buying a pub and listening to the locals ;-).... God this weed is good.... ;-).

With all that pie in the sky bollocks said, I've done it. I've put in an offer to the brewery, an offer of £35,000, so it's sit and wait time.... Oh my God, Arrrggghhh!!! 

The situation with me and my partner is still stagnant and still. We've had another talk about the work load that'll be coming our way if the offer is excepted.... He's saying he's right behind me with this new leap into the unknown, but us women know when something ain't right. We feel it in a strange kinda way and we know we're right in what we're feeling.... It's just I'm waiting for him to say what he really wants and not just agree with me and say everything is fine, great and can't wait to get started with the new business....
The feeling I'm feeling is that the love between us is very much not there like it used to be. There is a great plunge into the unknown for us both at the moment, and he's making me feel that it's not the way he wants to go. He knows all he has to do is say it. Knowing him the way I do when he has something on his mind he closes in, withdrawing from the world around him saying nothing is wrong.
I know we both know we don't feel "in love" anymore. Our sex life has left us, getting into bed with him feels awkward and the communication between us is him just agreeing with me. Well we'll be going back to Amsterdam soon for a Christmas break so who knows, things might turn around and all this relationship uncertainty is in my head.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God..... The offer has been excepted and a meeting has been set up for the 10th December to finalise everything and sign on the dotted line. I can' stop bouncing and jumping around, my mind is now in over drive. First things first, open a new business account at the bank. Second start advertising. Third start cleaning out the pub.... Fourth, blar, blar, blar.... Oh my God. This venture is paid mostly with my money and the small loan my partner took out with his friend. Although I'm excited, this business will go in my partners name to protect my other assets if things go bust. Both our names will be above the door as the licencees. He agrees, and has lots of ideas to pull this pub out of the gutter and turn it around. Making it the best biker pub in town, while I'm running the Rock Bar. It makes sense, plus it might make him feel he's got a say and bounce back to life. I hope it does, before we know it we'll be paying people to do all the work and sit back enjoying the profits. Well in a about 15 years after we've worked ourself to death ;-). 

Business at Crowley's is booming and it'll be the Christmas staff doo soon. This year we're all going for a meal then letting our presence be felt on the High Street, get pissed and fall in to Crowley's to finish off the night, an it sounds good to me.

It's Amsterdam time again, we'll be on the plane on the 26th December just a few days away. I can't wait, mainly because its family time, all together in the Dams winter wonderland. Maybe now I'm getting older family time is starting to mean more than it used to. It's possibly why I've got the work bug more than ever so in 15 or so years, I can retire and be spending time with grand-kids, take them off travelling like I did with my daughter. I'd like to think my other half feels the same..... I'll know the answer to that one when we get to Amsterdam....

We've been and returned. It was a good few day's away together, especially for me and my daughter, but it could of been better with me and my partner. Again we had a lovely apartment, one we've stayed at before in the middle of Nieuwmarkt.
Even with the heating on it was still cold at night and on our first night in bed together I thought I'd snuggle up and get some body warmth going on. What a mistake that was. I mean for fuck sake mun. We're in Amsterdam, it's fucking freezing an a girl wants to be fucking to get warm. Arrrgggghhhh..... He's laying on his back, I move in for the kill, he puts his arm around me for, God it felt like a fucking mini-second of cuddle time before he moved to turn onto his side. I mean is he fucking serious.... As we're only minutes walk from the red light district I would of been better off going out and fucking paying for it.... Arrrrrgggghhhh....!!!!
​We will definitely be having words when we get back is all I was thinking the whole time we were there... And we have, and he says this, and he says that, but nothing he says makes any fucking sense of whether he wants to stay or just fuck off..... God give me a fucking punch bag, pllleeease!!!!! 
We ain't got time to piss about after putting in an offer of £35,000, for fuck sake mun..... 

Life is very busy now, I ain't got time for time wasters, ya either in out ya out. In a strange sort of way I'm welcoming this new time. I've wanted a change in my routine and I've been feeling it long time. 
I don't know where me and my partner are heading but there has been a bit and I say "a bit", of action between the sheets. Nothing that's stirring up the heat but some is better than none, right?. There's a new year approaching lets see who comes first.... see what I'm saying there ??? See, see ;-). Hmmmm, yeah....right....