Part 2.... Chapter 7.... 2007

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Ok, you got me. In a chair and have my full attention, so can I please have yours…. This is what I want to say to my main Consultant Mr Bad to the Bone. I don’t want everyone to be my friend, but I do want him and everyone at this hospital to know this about me. I will always try to say goodbye to pain and I will always try to find the strength within my will power to keep my identity and my awareness of all the new trials and tribulations that lay ahead.
Mr Bad to the Bone is a tall slim man with short hair, maybe in his late 50s, with a very up tight stern doctor manner about him. I can see how he could come across as very intimating to a lot of patience. He doesn’t explain to well and give you the time to understand what he’s telling you when talking about your condition.

He reminds me of the cartoon called The Road Runner, where the coyote tries to catch a very fast bird. In our case, Mr Bad to the Bone is the road runner and I’m the coyote with no success of ever catching up with his words. Until I swear and get his attention.
Apart from my body being weak my mind is altogether in full working order and when I want answers to medical questions I want them in layman’s terms. You know, to understand them in easy style then ask someone to do some research before I pick up the conversation where we had left it.

I do like him though. I like somebody with character, cheek and charm and he has all three. So, I had to rename him Mr Bad to the Bone after he commented on the song covered by ZZ Top that I had playing when he was on his rounds. He zoomed in and out of my room like a jack in the box, popping up when you least expect it.

He started to say something when without warning he just stood there franticly rubbing his nose then swiftly left the room. The head nurse looked as bemused as me as I raise my arms up in the air and said “See what I mean. What was that about”. See looked over her shoulder and noticed the oil burner and said that was the reason.
Well, fuking hell hahaa. His nose seems to prefer the aroma of shite on the ward than aromatherapy oils. Men!

I say my mind is in full working order and I thank the stars for that, because my daughter has told me that when Mr Bad to the Bone advised her and her dad it was time to reduce the medication of the induced coma. They were told I may wake up with permanent brain damage.
I have no recollection of what I was saying over the days of coming back into the world of reality. So here are a few sentences I "apparently" blurred out ;-).
​I say "apparently" because my subconscious mind has no memory of it ever being said, hahaa.
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After the tracheostomy tube was removed, my voice returned before my brain and visual faculties ;-). This is what I said, are you ready, here we go….

1. “My voice sounds like I’m Japanese. I don’t like it. It’s too expensive” ….

I often wonder what that was supposed to mean. Especially as her dad is Chinese and not Japanese ;-).

1. As soon as my daughter walked into the ICU I say….

“OMG! Your taking cocaine” ….
Why I would say that is very baffling.

1. “Where are my fuking joints. They are at the bottom of the bed (daughters name) I made two, so don’t tell me they’re not there” ….

Now that I can totally understand ;-)

1. “I don’t want coffee; I want champagne and chocolate, champagne, now” ….

Again, I can totally see me saying that ;-)

1. ICU nurses were saying “Come on Amanda, you want to watch (daughters name) grow up, get married and have kids” ….

My response:
“No. She’s not having kids”.
Why did I say that? How strange ;-(….

1. As my daughter walks in I say, “Close that window”. She answers, “It’s closed mum”.

I reply, “It fuking ain’t, do it, it’s going to fall on me. Do it or fuk off” ….
I find this outburst very strange. Was there something in my mind relating to my fall, regarding the window? which by the way the ICU didn’t have a window. I was later told.

1. “What’s that on your head? Can you see it? There’s a light on your forehead! Never mind it’s gone now”.

1. When my daughter told me this one it made me laugh so much it hurt. Everybody knew I was coming back to life, slowly but surely in my own special way ;-).

I said.
“OMG! What’s that? There’s a giant pint glass as tall as you (daughters name) right there, and there, and there. They are everywhere”.

Hallucinations, brain damage or both? That was the big question…. The brain, the thinking mind, the spirit and the soul’s sense of knowing and coming back to the surface of being, does it all by itself when the time is right.

I should be going to Rookwood Hospital in Cardiff soon, so they keep telling me. It’s all about bed availability at the Spinal Cord Rehabilitation Unit. All I know is that my body is asking me to start moving and I’m more ready now than I’ll ever be to try and put that in to practice ;-)
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